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The Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome knew loss well. Marcus Aurelius buried many of his children; Seneca wrote letters of consolation to grieving friends and family. Their writing is surprisingly practical and warm.
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Stoicism is sometimes misunderstood as suppressing feelings. Seneca himself wrote that we should not let our eyes be dry when we lose a friend. The Stoics' real focus was on what lies within our power — our attention, our attitude, our next action — and on accepting, gently, what does not.
Many modern therapies, including cognitive behavioural therapy, draw on these ideas.
Older public-domain translations are used here where possible; lines marked “After” are faithful paraphrases in modern English.
Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's delight.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsVery little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsSuch as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsNever let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsConfine yourself to the present.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsDwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsIf you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsTime is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsBe like the headland on which the waves break continually; it stands firm, and the swelling waters fall to rest around it.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsWhen you rise in the morning, remember what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
— After Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsThe universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsAccept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together.
— Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsLet us not grieve that they were taken, but give thanks that we had them at all.
— After Seneca, LettersSometimes even to live is an act of courage.
— Seneca, LettersWe suffer more often in imagination than in reality.
— Seneca, LettersLet not the eyes be dry when we have lost a friend, nor let them overflow. We may weep, but we must not wail.
— Seneca, LettersIn time, the memory of friends who are gone becomes sweet, like fruit with a gentle tartness.
— After Seneca, LettersDifficulties strengthen the mind, as labour does the body.
— SenecaWherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.
— Attributed to SenecaWhile we are postponing, life speeds by.
— Seneca, LettersMen are disturbed not by things, but by the opinions about things.
— Epictetus, EnchiridionNever say of anything, "I have lost it," but, "I have returned it."
— Epictetus, EnchiridionMake the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.
— After EpictetusNo great thing is created suddenly.
— Epictetus, DiscoursesIt is not death or pain that is to be feared, but the fear of pain or death.
— After EpictetusThe life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.
— Cicero, PhilippicsGratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
— After Cicero
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